When everything is at its worst, your mind just throws it all into the wastebasket and goes to Florida for a little while. There is a sudden electric what-the-hell glow as you stand there looking back over your shoulder at the bridge you just burnt down. - Richard Bachman
The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida. - Dave Barry
Oh. My. God.’ she said, pointing out of the window. ‘Do you know what that is?’I nodded and said, ‘I think I may have seen it before.’‘That,’ said Florida, ‘is the Moonyouidiot. - Frank Cottrell Boyce
Yes, but does Maine have anything to SAY to Florida? - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above "functionally retarded". - Tucker Max