A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid. - Jack Benny
If you're going to be a narcissistic schmuck, kid, don't bother studying Faulkner. Go straight to Brett Easton Ellis. He's the role model you need. - Arinn Dembo
Basically, if you're not a utopianist, you're a schmuck. - Jonathan Feldman