We Slovenians are even better misers than you Scottish. You know how Scotland began? One of us Slovenians was spending too much money, so we put him on a boat and he landed in Scotland. - Slavoj Žižek
Scotland consistently produces world-class writers. - Sara Sheridan
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it. - Dave Barry
For 3 million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person. (on Margaret Thatcher) - Frankie Boyle
Scotland is a soggy sort it place, where birds and animals walk around uncooked - Peedie William
Oats. A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people. - Samuel Johnson