If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. - Jay Leno
I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but I still keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out. - David Sedaris
We have a large public that is very ignorant about public affairs and very susceptible to simplistic slogans by candidates who appear out of nowhere, have no track record, but mouth appealing slogans - Zbigniew Brzeziński
What makes the Arabs suitable candidates for democracy is their heritage as human beings, not their specific cultural or historical antecedents. - Gwynne Dyer
Pandering candidates often promise that they can make the pain go away. - Gail Collins
Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I’ll be damned if Rick Perry didn’t take me up on that. - Bill Maher
When the political columnists say 'Every thinking man' they mean themselves, and when candidates appeal to 'Every intelligent voter' they mean everybody who is going to vote for them. - Franklin P. Adams
I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House. - Bob Hope