Quotation Explorer - 'Headline'

Why is there never a headline that says "Government program ends as its intended goal has been achieved"? - Oleg Atbashian
You always hear a headline like this, 'Man Killed By Shark', you never hear it from the other perspective, 'Man Swims in Shark Infested Waters, Forgets He's Shark Food'. - Gary Larson
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim". - Lyndon B. Johnson
The headline reads, "Docs say patients make them prescribe useless antibiotics." This puts a physician in roughly the same predicament as a serial killer. The latter says, "Stop me before I kill again, while the former says, "Stop me before I prescribe again."
Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno
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