I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House. - Bob Hope
No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties. - Bob Hope
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. - Bob Hope
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands - Bob Hope
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. - Bob Hope
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. - Bob Hope
Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning. - Bob Hope
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. - Bob Hope
I don't generally feel anything until noon; then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope
Middle age is when your age starts to show around the middle. - Bob Hope