TURKEY, n. A large bird whose flesh when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. Incidentally, it is pretty good eating. - Ambrose Bierce
Personally I think birthdays and anniversaries are like menstrual cramps, a regular pain in the ass that's somehow connected to birth. - Hugh Elliott
On Valentine's Day, millions of men give millions of women flowers, cards and candy as a heartfelt expression of the emotion that also motivates men to observe anniversaries and birthdays: fear. - Dave Barry
When it comes to anniversaries, the publishing industry usually resembles distant relatives, readiest with gifts that are redundant or farcical. - Anthony Paletta