Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. - Robert Benchley
If the great figures of this nation’s history were alive today, they would all have to say that they committed a felony when they applied for a job at McDonald’s. - Justin King
You know something is wrong when the government declares opening someone else’s mail is a felony but your internet activity is fair game for data collecting. - E.A. Bucchianeri
Publishers are notoriously slothful about numbers, unless they're attached to dollar signs - unlike journalists, quarterbacks, and felony criminal defendants who tend to be keenly aware of numbers at all times. - Hunter S. Thompson