Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. - Oliver Oliver Reed
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face. - Oliver Oliver Reed
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one. - Oliver Oliver Reed
Chuck Norris can divide by zero. - Oliver Oliver Reed
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok. - Oliver Oliver Reed
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg. - Oliver Oliver Reed
Just deleting vandalism on the Chuck Norris page," Radar said. "For instance, while I do think that Chuck Norris specializes in the roundhouse kick, I don't think it's accurate to say, 'Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer, but unfortunately he has never cried. - John Green