Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. - Oliver Oliver Reed
Chuck Norris can divide by zero. - Oliver Oliver Reed
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok. - Oliver Oliver Reed
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg. - Oliver Oliver Reed
There is no god but Road Runner and Chuck Jones is his prophet. - John Steiner
When life gives you a lemon, chuck it right back.... and add a few lemons of your own. - Clara deLemos
I invite all brats to throw their cookies at the baker’s head if they’re not sweet, winos to chuck their wine if it’s bad, the dying to shuck their souls when they croak, and men to throw their existence in God’s face when it’s bitter - Gustave Flaubert
What's God saying to you now? "All things are possible to him who worries?" No. "All things are possible to him who attempts to work it out?" No. "All things are possible to him who believes. --Man to Man: Chuck Swindoll Selects His Most Significant Writings for Men - Charles R. Swindoll
Just deleting vandalism on the Chuck Norris page," Radar said. "For instance, while I do think that Chuck Norris specializes in the roundhouse kick, I don't think it's accurate to say, 'Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer, but unfortunately he has never cried. - John Green
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face. - Oliver Oliver Reed
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one. - Oliver Oliver Reed
Chuck Palahniuk asked which is worse: Hell or nothing. Here is my answer: Of course nothing! Because even in Hell, there is hope! - Mehmet Murat ildan
That’s the biggest purpose of religious gathering: permission to look terrible in public. We used to go to church to confess our worst behaviour, to be heard and forgiven, then to be redeemed and accepted back into our community Chuck Palahniuk - Chuck Palahniuk in interview with TMO