Jewish vampires: We turn into cats not bats bwaaahaha - Tasha Turner
Depart, Satan,' she said, with a complete lack of enthusiasm. — Bats 2015 - Fred Barnett
Wichtor’s been cranky ever since a fat vulture roosted on his granite Cârnat, uh, schmekel in 1864 and broke it off." — Bats 2015 - Fred Barnett
Purrrrrrrr Elizabeth kneaded Vlad's pecs. I hear a Kitty! Vlad’s eyes sprung open. There was a moment of hurt, of sad. There was no kitty. You’re teasing me!" — Bats - Fred Barnett
Grrrrowpt. said dead Penelope. Dead Huthbert nodded, and hugged her. She moved his dusty hand from her dusty ass." — BATS 2015 - Fred Barnett
The bats inebriate the sky . . . - A.E. Stallings
She could feel something unnatural following her every movement as she washed her bountiful Huzza and Wahzoozie" — BATS - Fred Barnett
...an ambitious array of dishonorable intentions that he intended to wield upon the Countess’s nether regions. — BATS 2015 - Fred Barnett
Elizabeth served herself to Vlad upon the Lazy Susan (Susan wasn’t lazy. She was actually dead." — Bats 2015 - Fred Barnett
Vlad was sexting Elizabeth a picture of his pulă rigiditate, while he told Mina. I vould like totally hang up on the dude. He’s no Baldwin." — Bats 2015 - Fred Barnett
If perception were reality, bats could fly through cave walls. - Marty Rubin
He sniffed until the long hairs of his mustache had been sucked up into his nose and out of his leafy ears." — Bats 2015 - Fred Barnett
Elizabeth poured the brewskilicious foam over her aforementioned bodalicious huzza-huzzas and Wahwahzoozie." — Bats 2015 - Fred Barnett
Do it for the kids! The ones who look up to you — especially when they are pleading for their lives." — Bats 2015 - Fred Barnett
Pre-high tech, objects thunked and crashed and clopped, amid a thunder of drums, a tumult of trumpets. Today things beep and cheep and whistle. We have come from the roar of the lion to the chirp of the tree frog, ceaselessly bleating our identities while the frog-eating bats hover above us. - A.J. Orde
If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats? - Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
They’re dogs. Never trust a man. Even when he’s dead. Especially when he’s dead. — Bats 2015 - Fred Barnett
Words can be like baseball bats when used maliciously. - Sidney Madwed
You’re going to show up to a duel, in the street, wearing Come F—k Me Heels?" — Bats 2015 - Fred Barnett