HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There are four kinds of homocide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he fell by one kind or another -- the classification is for advantage of the lawyers. - Ambrose Bierce
Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein.
To some lawyers all facts are created equal. - Felix Frankfurter
For four centuries now, the American people have resigned themselves to natural disasters and acts of God: floods, prairie fires, blizzards, tornados, hurricanes, dust bowls, epidemics, academics, lawyers, and politicians. - Markham Shaw Pyle
Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov
Any society that needs disclaimers has too many lawyers.
Lawyers are always confident before the verdict. It's only after that they share their doubts. - Julian Fellowes
The USA legal system is designed to enrich lawyers, protect the government and corporations, and shaft the general public. - Steven Magee
Any society that produces twice as many lawyers as it does poets and preachers is doomed. - John Fogarty
Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished. - Jeremy Bentham
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
If you laid all of the lawyers in the world, end to end, on the equator ---- It would be a good idea to just leave them there. - Unknown
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
...it is crucial to realize that an once of student affairs administration prevention can stave off a pound of lawyers. - Peter F. Lake
On Wall Street, the lawyers play the same role as medics in war: They come in after the shooting is over to clean up the mess. - Michael Lewis
A prisoner's shackles would always be a lawyers joy. - Dennis E. Adonis
All we know about the new economic world tells us that nations which train engineers will prevail over those which train lawyers. No nation has ever sued its way to greatness. - Richard Lamm
Lawyers are lubricants are complicated social intercourse. - Madam Secretary
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb
Criminal court is where bad pople are on their best behavior. It's much more dangerous for lawyers and judges In family court, where good people are at their worst.
So many people spend years (and money) studying to be doctors, lawyers, actors, dancers, business executives and scientists - when you're an author, you can be any of these things, and you don't need a degree or certificate; all you need is an imagination, a dream and an open mind. - Rebecca McNutt
Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons: I've got em coz everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.
If life was fair ... one third of the people would comprise of judges and lawyers ... one third of police and prison officials ... and one third of legislators ... and one third more to make the other three thirds make any sense at all .... Thank goodness for no fair. - Brian Spellman
Born into thisInto hospitals which are so expensive that it's cheaper to dieInto lawyers who charge so much it's cheaper to plead guiltyInto a country where the jails are full and the madhouses closedInto a place where the masses elevate fools into rich heroes... - Charles Bukowski
Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
Studying the rule of law won't make a great litigator. It is the act of trying cases in real courtrooms with real plaintiffs and defendants and judges and juries, week after week and year after year that develops lawyers into top trial attorneys. - Marian Deegan
in America we have people from all kinds of backgrounds, all in a cluster, together, and consequently law has become very important in this country. Lawyers and law are what hold us together. There is no ethos. - Joseph Campbell
You talk to leadership in China, and THEY are all the engineers. They get what is going on immediately. The Americans don't because they're all lawyers. - John Doerr
Hate lawyers all you want. Unlike you, we'll never be replaced with robots. Case closed! - Natalya Vorobyova