I am the only guinea pig I have. - R. Buckminster Fuller
What would be frightening about me jumping out of the bush wearing a pig mask is not the sudden surprise, not me, and not the pig mask, but that the ordinary world had split open for a moment to reveal some possibility never previously considered. - Peter Straub
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? - George Carlin
A fool cannot be protected from his folly. If you attempt to do so, you will not only arouse his animosity but also you will be attempting to deprive him of whatever benefit he is capable of deriving from experience. Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.
These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equaled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig. - Alfred Hitchcock
What’s that supposed to mean, ‘a passin’ hunger?’ I ATE my fuckin’ girlfriend! An’ we ain’t talkin’ little fuckin’ love bites or a bit of a chew—I went wild kingdom on her ass! It was like a pig pickin’ after fuckin’ Lent-FUCK! - E.V. Iverson
Anyone with more than 365 pair of shoes is a pig.
A dog will look up on you; a cat will look down on you; however, a pig will see you eye to eye and know it has found an equal.
She's as common as pig tracks. Just her being here lowers the tone of the entire city. - Katie Crouch and Grady Hendrix, The White Glove War
After all, what could you expect from a pig but a grunt? - L.M. Montgomery
There was Arctic John, a businessman from Salisbury who doesn’t hold water, Bruce Knott, a social worker from Cumberland who spends his lunch hour picking his bum, and Judith Glycerine, the reformation pig. - St John Morris
Lawsuit n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
Pride grows in the human heart like lard on a pig. - Alexander Solzhenitsyn
In a democracy, people always vote for their alike! Pig for the pig, raven for the raven! Dull for the dull, wise for the wise! - Mehmet Murat ildan
101 Reason why its its great to be a woman : Since the advent of feminism, we can publicly ogle male bodies and not be called sexist. If a man indulges in this behavior over a picture of naked woman, he is a sexist pig, and recompense must be demanded for this slight on womankind. - Summersdale Publishers
EDIBLE, adj. Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. - Ambrose Bierce
PIG, n. An animal (_Porcus omnivorus_) closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig. - Ambrose Bierce
PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics. - Ambrose Bierce
The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig. - Ogden Nash
I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it. - Cyrus Ching
Always remember, a cat looks down on man, a dog looks up to man, but a pig will look man right in the eye and see his equal. - Winston S. Churchill
Do you ever feel like we are the universe’s date to a pig party? Love, The Human Race - Christy Leigh Stewart
LITIGATION, n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
PIETY, n. Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles. Judibras - Ambrose Bierce