Passion, emotion, love and romance they all look better in movies; in reality all you need is a big dick. - M.F. Moonzajer
The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon. - Kurt Vonnegut
The pre-Socratic Greek philosopher taught that the only things that are real are things which never change... and the pre-Socratic Greek philosopher Heraclitus taught that everything changes. If you superimpose their two views, you get this result: Nothing is real. Philip K. Dick - Parmenides
Holy shit, you're so big."He wasn't a conceited ass when it came to his dick, but it wasn't the first time he'd heard a woman say that. However, coming from Lucie, he suddenly felt like He-Man, minus the fur underwear. - Gina L Maxwell
I may not beleive in God, but I believe in guilt and no one wants to dick around with eternity, even if it isn't there. - johnathon trooper
Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat and taking the tartar sauce with you. - Zig Ziglar
Don't be a dick! - Wil Wheaton
I've accepted that I'm not going to die of natural causes, [but] getting killed 'cuz you're naturally a dick seems like natural causes to me. - Randy K. Milholland
You give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders."(Larry King Live, May 11, 2009) - Jesse Ventura
I felt vaguely outraged that such a bad person had such a good car. Because the car was the culmination of a thousand-odd years of scientific advancement. But the guy was a dick. I wondered when that had happened; that we had started making better machines than people. - Max Barry
You're just another american who is willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick being shoved up your asshole every day... The owners of this country know the truth... it's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it! - George Carlin
What's the feeling everyday somebody to say right in your face lie... ( like a woman which sucks your dick and your semen goes right in hermouth) and you can't do anything on this problem??And what to tell you move on, soon or later?? - Deyth Banger
Dick, frankly you do not have the war plan... which makes me quite happy.
I don't know, and have no intention of finding out. IQ is like dick size - if you have to measure, you're way too invested in it. And both are gauche to discuss in polite company. (Upon being asked his IQ on Quora) - Adrian Lamo
Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side chick … or the side dick. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Men would have been badly in trouble if their hands didn’t fit their dick. - M.F. Moonzajer
Write a little. Read a little. Dick around on the internet. Post something to Pinterest or Facebook. Text a friend. Write some more. Curse it because it's shit. Write some more. Repeat. - Katrina Monroe
I have some bad news. Bjork cannot be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her. - Jon Stewart
if a chick can't dance, she can't ride dick, simple as that ... - J.M. August
Strip yourself naked, of your fancied ideas about What Is. Then, seek "It". That Which Is. Otherwise, all you're going to find is dick. - Fakeer Ishavardas
Lactose intolerant milk?! KISS, MY, DICK! - Lewis Black
I hate metaphors. That’s why my favorite book is Moby Dick. No frou-frou symbolism. Just a good, simple tale about a man who hates an animal. - Ron Swanson