I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers
Maybe a good goal would be to just at least always try to create something good. Like something that is connected to love in some way. Like the [musical] equivalent of…you can make a decision to be kind. You can make a decision to greet people kindly and make jokes with people and connect. - Joanna Newsom
Time for black jokes, what's the time??Can you handle it! - Deyth Banger
Half of the time I don't know what they're talking about; their jokes seem to relate to a past that everyone but me has shared. I'm a foreigner in the world and I don't understand the language. - Jean Webster
Shall I crack any of those old jokes, master,At which the audience never fail to laugh? - Aristophanes
Jokes are many things. 'Funny' is only one of them. - Melinda Chapman
We should have stories in common, I found myself thinking. We should have stories, and jokes no one understands, and memories that we know will stay alive because neither of us will let the other forget. - Kamila Shamsie
You know you’ve reached the end of a relationship: when your lover now demands that your jokes be funny before they laugh. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes. - Ludwig Wittgenstein
You must however pay attention to the fact that we don’t only lose time to lateness. We also lose time to jokes, gossip, empty talks, sleep on duty, social media etc. - Sunday Adelaja
The problem with political jokes is they get elected. - Henry Cate VII
He that jokes confesses. - Italian Proverb
The truth of life is hidden in all jokes that invoke the stroke of laughter of most people. - Anuj Somany
My medication must be wearing off I'm starting to think my jokes are funny. - Stanley Victor Paskavich
Well, the telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful. - Kurt Vonnegut
History doesn’t start with a tall buildingand a card with your name written on it, but jokes do. I think someone is takingus for suckers and is playing a mean game. - Nathan Reese Maher
There is a kind of happiness and wonder that makes you serious. It is too good to waste on jokes. - C.S. Lewis
Some jokes are stupid and useless, if you can't get it. It's to stupid to go in it, but whatever!- Make your choice! - Deyth Banger
In all the works on pedagogy that ever I read — and they have been many, big, and heavy — I don't remember that any one has advocated a system of teaching by practical jokes, mostly cruel. That, however, describes the method of our great teacher, Experience. - Charles Sanders Peirce
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected. - Will Rogers
Everybody tells jokes, but we still need comedians. - Jimmy Wales
Leo, Jason said, you’re weird.Yeah, you tell me that a lot. Leo grinned. But if you don’t remember me, that means I can reuse all my old jokes...! - Rick Riordan
Jokes are hilarious only when you take them unreal and dreamlike, otherwise it becomes painful. So I always live otherworldly... - Saket Assertive
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. - Robert Frost
I myself am convinced that the theory of evolution, especially to the extent to which it has been applied, will be one of the greatest jokes in the history books of the future. Posterity will marvel that so very flimsy and dubious an hypothesis could be accepted with the incredible credulity it has. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on TheeAnd I'll forgive Thy great big one on me. - Robert Frost
GreenHollyWood is a bad character, fat, liking jokes, liking jokes about size, about the large, about the how big are you. Likes to laugh when you make a mistake, ... but but he is a teacher?! With a glasses a fat guy! - Deyth Banger
Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. - George Eliot
No, I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb, and I also know I'm not blonde.
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. - David M. Ogilvy
Maybe that's just what happens; you start out wanting to change the world through language, and end up thinking it's enough to tell a few jokes. - David Nicholls
Knowing all the languages in the world could help you to really understand all the jokes you can hear... from my future Kids' Funny Business. - Ivan Stoikov
You can't laugh on practice jokes when your whole life seems like one - Rick Riordan
Having less worries is what allows me to talk to beggars in the street or tell jokes at waitresses and try to make them smile. I couldn't do that before, when I had a job and was always worried about money. - Robin Sacredfire
Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov