There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them. - Werner Heisenberg
Guantánamo Bay's motto: 'Safe, humane, legal, transparent detention.' Four adjectives describing one sick joke. - Rodney Ulyate
ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke. - Ambrose Bierce
A joke explained is a joke wasted.
It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it. - G.K. Chesterton
The 2 prime movers in the Universe are Time and Luck.As the tag line of my favorite dirty joke would have it: "Keep your hat on. We could wind up miles from here. - Kurt Vonnegut
He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke. - Carroll Bryant
A joke is a very serious thing. - Winston S. Churchill
In the end, perhaps we should simply imagine a joke; a long joke that's continually retold in an accent too thick and strange to ever be completely understood. Life is that joke my friends. The soul is the punch line. - Tom Robbins
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
every particle being connected with every other; you can't fart without changing the balance in the universe. It makes living a funny joke with nobody around to laugh. - Philip K. Dick
My friends joke that I’m dead until I get onstage. I’m dead right now as you’re speaking to me. - Lady Gaga
Griff held his breath, waiting for it, knowing the axe would fall and he‘d start dying as soon as he walked out the fucking door, and Dante would just grin and joke and try to forget what they had done together in this room. - Damon Suede
Happiness is a big joke; let us laugh at it loud. - Santosh Kalwar
People are so stupid, that they repeat your words and said in other words and what??(I'm stupid, so stupid that I want to repeat), I just heard that probably I have missunderstand something...(NOte- It's joke a Get it?) - Deyth Banger
Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke . . . She will need her sisterhood. - Gloria Steinem
This is a wonderful joke to play upon a prisoner, to promise forgiveness. - Kate DiCamillo
Science is a bit like the joke about the drunk who is looking under a lamppost for a key that he has lost on the other side of the street, because that's where the light is. It has no other choice. - Noam Chomsky
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling. - Friedrich Nietzsche
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world. - George Bernard Shaw
Life is a joke, even though it is not always funny. - Stephan Attia
if you like the lovable sound of an asthma attack in your ear every time you tell a joke. - Kiera Cass
From the beginning, when something was wrong I've been saying: 'Dilly-ding, dilly-dong, wake up, wake up!' So on Christmas Day I bought for all the players and all the staff a little bell. It was just a joke. - Claudio Ranieri
Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke. - Hermann Hesse
Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process. - E.B. White
If I'll be funnier than this, I'll become a joke. - Chandan Sharma
The world was a bad joke dreamed up by the Almighty on an off-day. I've always felt myself that he probably had a hangover that morning. - Jack Higgins
My therapist and I even have a joke about it: shit is truly fucked up when I start threatening to take a road trip. - Chris Gethard
Keep moving. Don't get bogged down. Don't think about the bad stuff. Smile and joke even when you don't feel like it. - Rick Riordan
The gods too are fond of a joke. - Aristotle
Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark
If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke. - Hugh Elliott
High school wasn't a trial by fire or some ordeal that had to be survived. It was all a big joke. You just had to provide the laugh track. - Scott Westerfeld
If you have to explain a joke, it hasn't worked. - Susanna Flister
He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
Great use they have, when in the hands Of one like me, who understands, Who understands the time and place, The person, manner, and the grace, Which fools neglect; so that we find, If all the requisites are join'd, From whence a perfect joke must spring, A joke's a very serious thing. - Charles Churchill
Horror can damage your brain" - HAHAHAHA the best joke ever heard (It was said by GreenHollyWood". I really don't believe in that in case I use them to relax! - Deyth Banger
An old racetrack joke reminds you that your program contains all the winners' names. I stare at my typewriter keys with the same thought. - Mignon McLaughlin
A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
Death is an old joke, but it comes fresh to everyone.
I think you actually get a kick out of being disappointed and under-achieving, because it's easier, isn't it? Failure and unhappiness is easier because you can make a joke out of it. - David Nicholls
If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you have no regime. - Jon Stewart
One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke. - Mark Twain
You cant laugh at a joke agian and agian, but why do you keep crying over the same thing over and over agian? - Monika Ramzy
A joke is never a joke if it is at the expense of another person's feelings - Heather Wolf
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. - Jack Handey
A joke was not a single-use item but something you brought out again and again until it fell apart in your hand like a cheap umbrella. - David Nicholls
There isn't a need to sugar coat life anymore, Cant we see we live through enough lies, deciet and painful realities to create more, by stagnating the growth of the ones your suppose to make an Impact on and more importantly yourself. Let life be funny, but never a joke. - Nikki Rowe
Elsa's joke Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots! - Jacqueline Wilson
Perhaps it was Rudy who kept her sane, with the stupidity of his talk, his lemon-soaked hair, and his cockiness. He seemed to resonate with a kind of confidence that life was still nothing but a joke - an endless succession of soccer goals, trickery, and a constant repertoire of meaningless chatter. - Markus Zusak
In this funny debut, flashy Filipino fashion designer Boy Hernandez sees his American dream become a nightmare when he’s ensnared in a terrorist plot and shipped to Guantanamo. Gilvarry nails the couture scene, but Boy’s rough journey from Manolo to Gitmo is no joke. - Andrew Abrahams
Never joke about the job of your friend. He/she feeds their family with it and it affects their dignity! - Rossana Condoleo
Leprechauns are not twee beings dreamed up by the tourist board, but warriors of legend. That name comes from the Celtic god of commerce and war, Lugh. Their mission, their life’s work, is to protect the gold. What better way to hide it than to become a joke, a story nobody takes seriously? - Kathy Bryson, Fighting Mad
The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow. - H. G. Wells
I Take Life Very Seriously: One Joke At A Time. - Sandra Chami Kassis
When I played Lady Day, I took Aba onstage with me as a joke. He started singing—in tune!—and the audience loved it., when asked what tricks her poodle did. - Eartha Kitt
A joke is a good camouflage. Next best comes sentiment... But the best camouflage of all - in my opinion - is the plain and simple truth. Because nobody ever believes it. - Max Frisch
There is an old joke that went around- it goes, in the beginning God made man in His own image, and since the fall, man has been seeking to return the compliment. - Alistair Begg
A person should not crack a joke regularly until he is making money out of it like a comedian, else most people around him are most likely to treat him like a crack only. - Anuj Somany
Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke. - F. Scott Fitzgerald
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. - Robert Frost
Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century. - Dame Edna Everage
It only took a corny joke, but the smile I saw shone brighter than a glare, more profound than a star. And the best thing... it was so genuine. It was so her. I never thought I could fall more in love. - Hubert Martin
A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessamyn West
Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke. - Joss Whedon
Perhaps the god who had made the Cat People intended them as a joke. They had schools, but no education; politicians but no government; people, but no personal integrity; faces, but no concept of face. One had to admit that their god had gone a little too far with his little joke. - Lao She
Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, power to retell it, to rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as times change, truly are powerless. - Salman Rushdie
Success depends on your hard work, it's a very funny joke. - Tanmaya Guru
If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke. - Gregory David Roberts
However, in this city (San Francisco) that prides itself in being so progressive, it feels like we need to go back and master something both simple as well as incredibly complex – each other. We can learn to embrace our differences without making them a joke or a spectacle. - Crystal Sykes