If naturalists go to heaven (about which there is considerable ecclesiastical doubt), I hope that I will be furnished with a troop of kakapo to amuse me in the evening instead of television. - Gerald Durrell
[The television is] an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us. - Kurt Vonnegut
Television is for appearing on - not for looking at. - Noël Coward
The value in my room is neither my Television nor my bank note. The value in my room is myself! Why? Because even if I lose everything I have, but still get me, I am coming back with full passion and desperation to climb the unclimbed hills again and again! - Israelmore Ayivor
The more you have, the more you are occupied, the less you give. But the less you have the more free you are. Poverty for us is a freedom. It is not mortification, a penance. It is joyful freedom. There is no television here, no this, no that. But we are perfectly happy. - Mother Teresa
Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen
Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. - David Letterman
Never pass up a chance to have sex or appear on television. - Gore Vidal
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything. - Fred Allen
I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids. - Trey Parker and Matt Stone
The whole problem with news on television comes down to this: all the words uttered in an hour of news coverage could be printed on page of a newspaper. And the world cannot be understood in one page.
I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman.
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover. - Matt Groening
For me, it's that I contributed, ... That I'm on this planet doing some good and making people happy. That's to me the most important thing, that my hour of television is positive and upbeat and an antidote for all the negative stuff going on in life. - Ellen DeGeneres
When the machine of a human being is turned on, it seems to produce a protagonist, just as a television produces an image. I think this protagonist, this self, often recognizes that it is a fictional construct, but it also recognizes that thinking of itself as such might cause it to disintegrate. - Mohsin Hamid
The best books — like the best music or television or movies or comics or video games — can challenge us and force us to think or perceive aspects of life that we may prefer to avoid. In a sense, they threaten us. - Geoffrey Reiter
The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel. - From "Taxi"
Television and film demand that people at all levels have brass balls or brass ovaries. Unfortunately, we live in the reign of the eunuch. - Rita Mae Brown
Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye. - Bill Hicks
If you believe that your thoughts originate inside your brain, do you also believe that television shows are made inside your television set? - Warren Ellis
If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace. - John Lennon
Television knows no night. It is perpetual day. TV embodies our fear of the dark, of night, of the other side of things. - Jean Baudrillard
A world without radio is a deaf world. A world without television is a blind world. A world without telephone is a dumb world. A world without communication is indeed a crippled world. - Ernest Agyemang Yeboah
Encourage your children to read more and watch television less. - Gordon B. Hinckley
These dreamsThese empty dreamsfrom the make-believe bedroomstheir parents left themare the after-effectsof television programsabout the idealwhite american familywith black maidsand latino janitorswho are well trainto make everyoneand their bill collectorslaugh at themand the people they represent - Pedro Pietri
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. - Unknown
I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. - Groucho Marx
Most people gaze neither into the past nor the future; they explore neither truth nor lies. They gaze at the television. - Radiohead
I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens. - Dwight D. Eisenhower
Television is a new medium. It's called a medium because nothing is well-done. - Fred Allen
Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms. - Alan Corenk
You have to work years in hit shows to make people sick and tired of you, but you can accomplish this in a few weeks on television.
I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles
Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath. - Dave Barry
I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts.
News is how the government delivers propaganda to the masses and it is an essential requirement of the television broadcasting job to be emotionless to this. - Steven Magee
Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost
Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it. - Alfred Hitchcock
As the age of television progresses the Reagans will be the rule, not the exception. To be perfect for television is all a President has to be these days. - Gore Vidal
Politics is not a picture on a wall or a television sitcom that you can decide you don't much care for. - Molly Ivins
Mother is the dead heart of the family, spending father's earnings on consumer goods to enhance the environment in which he eats, sleeps, and watches television. - Germaine Greer
Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome.
When I see Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity baying across the television screen, I find it hard to take them seriously. I assume that they must be saying what they do primarily to boost book sales or ratings, although I do wonder who would spend their precious evenings with such sourpusses. - Barack Obama
A world without radio is a deaf world.A world without television is a blind world. A a world without telephone is a dumb world. A world without communication is indeed a crippled world. - Ernest Agyemang Yeboah
And you realize that there’s no such thing as an individual, we’re just all a collection of each other’s influence on each other. Everyone says things to each other, the television, your parents, your friends, that’s all we are, is a collection of intermingling ideas as a collective. - Matt Bellamy
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson
Television is now so desperately hungry for material that they're scraping the top of the barrel. - Gore Vidal
In general, watching children's television is a dark and surreal descent into madness where the characters on the screen talk directly to you.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx
If only they gave all unsolved crime cases television air time, they could be solved within an hour on one of those crime story shows. - Spaz tastic!!
Having a hearing is educational. Having a hearing with television cameras is useful. Having a hearing with two rows of television cameras is Heaven. - Tim Wirth
If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it. - Frank Zappa
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. - Woody Allen
All television is children's television. - Richard P. Adler
Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want. - Clive Barnes
Take my television. Take my computer. Take my cellphone. Take my music. But don't ever touch my books. - Kristen Darling
If you want to use television to teach somebody, you must first teachthem how to use television. - Umberto Eco
Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some. - Alfred Hitchcock
Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn
My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too. - Peter De Vries
In general, it’s not too hard to corrupt an American, mostly a matter of supply to their demand. Supply should be variegated to encourage the Illusion of Choice. Other than that they’re looking for numbness, so be ready to sedate. Drugs, booze, television, shopping, etc… - Geoffrey Wood Grimrack An Infernal Epistolary
We are drawn to our television sets each April the way we are drawn to the scene of an accident. - Vincent Canby
You can be a little bit darker and rougher on the stage, partly because when you're in the theater, people have come to see you, and so they kind of know what they're in for. In television, you are sort of sneaking into people's homes. So, I think you can be a little bit darker on stage. - Tina Fey
Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some. - Alfred Hitchcock
I think that's the way people absorb television. All the explanations in Doctor Who are there if that's your bag, but they're not essential to your enjoyment of it. An awful lot of storytelling isn't really about making people understand — it's about making people care. - Steven Moffat
Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers
Television is democracy at its ugliest.
Best-selling horror fiction is indeed necessarily conservative because it must entertain a large number of readers. It’s like network television. I’m your local cable access station. - Thomas Ligotti
Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around. - Dave Barry
Television is the first truly democratic culture -- the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want. - Clive Barnes
I don’t believe that young people today can live clean, pure lives without the help of God. The peer pressure is too great and the temptations they see in the movies and on television, and what they hear in their music is too much. Only Christ can give them the power to say no. - Billy Graham
When we say 'War is over if you want it,' we mean that if everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, we'd have peace.
Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950’s. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead. - Chuck Palahniuk
Narration, after all, isn’t just a literary function. It represents the human capacity to tell stories in such a manner that they yield meaning. Television replaced this concerted quest for meaning with a frantic pursuit of wonder. - Steve Almond
To speak of television as 'neutral' and therefore subject to change is as absurd as speaking of the reform of a technology such as guns. - Jerry Mander
I find women with well developed flesh very attractive. The scrawny little things doing commercials on my television set are slightly repulsive -- like famine victims.
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. - Fred Allen
Television news is like a lightning flash. It makes a loud noise, lights up everything around it, leaves everything else in darkness and then is suddenly gone. - Hodding Carter
Television has brought murder back into the home-- where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock
Virtual Reality is like mainlining television. - William Gibson
First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII — and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure. - Douglas Adams
When I Find Myself in A Depressed State, I Try and Write to Feel Better. However, If Writing Doesn't Work, Then You Can Almost Always Catch Me Watching Cartoons on Television, Like Scooby-Dooby-Do or The Munster’s. Unfortunately, I Am Watching These Programs Nearly Every Day. - Chris Mentillo
If there's anything unsettling to the stomach, it's watching actors on television talk about their personal lives. - Marlon Brando
Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost
This is why God invented network television.
I know that we shall meet problems along the way, but I'd far rather see for myself what's going on in the world outside, than rely on newspapers, television, politicians and religious leaders to tell me what I should be thinking.
If only they gave all unsolved crime cases television air time, they could be solved within an hour. - Spaz tastic!!
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. - Rod Serling
Working on television is like being shot out of a cannon. They cram you all up with rehearsals, then someone lights a fuse and - BANG - there you are in someone's living room. - Tallulah Bankhead