Stay humble as a writer: write on toilet paper. - Jonas Eriksson
Most people would rather eat inside a windowless room in which they have just defecated than eat inside one in which someone else has just farted, even if the room does not have a toilet. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Passing their toilet training is the very last thing that some adults did that has made their parents proud of them. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Lea was on the floor of a stall hugging a toilet. When she heard the door close, she lifted her head and gave me a half smile of embarrassment.'Gracie, I've been chemically inconvenienced and I don't think I can ever leave this toilet. Take a picture of this so I'll never do it again. - christine zoldenz
He looked like a sexy ninja. Or a tiger ready to pounce on his prey. She just looked like she was sitting sideways on an invisible toilet. Curse the male species for making danger look so good! - Leia Shaw
And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl. - Bill Cosby
France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder
Is it not necessary to eat? Is it not necessary to go to the toilet? They are necessary. In the same way, money is also required. Just as one does not have to think about going to the toilet; it happens automatically, in the same way, money comes without you having to think about it. - Dada Bhagwan
People go through life blindly, ignoring death like revellers at a party feasting on fine foods. They ignore that later they will have to go to the toilet, so they do not bother to find out where there is one. When nature finally calls, they have no idea where to go and are in a mess. - Ajahn Chah
And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...if it hadn't been for his head... - Bill Cosby
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. - Rod Serling
There probably was a time when the idea of having a toilet inside a house was repulsive. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Nothing reminds one of how shitty inequality is more often than the fact that there are companies who make and people who use 1-ply toilet papers. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Staying with detractors is like sleeping in a room located just behind the public toilet. You will never feel comfortable until you relocate. - Israelmore Ayivor
I love my ex so much I printed out all his pictures. After all, I need him for target practice. And I just love customised toilet paper and doormats. My only regret is that those items don't bear his autograph. - Natalya Vorobyova
i do not give a sh*t, the toilet miss me now - Mohlalefi j motsima
For some strange reason I get some of my brightest ideas on the toilet seat, with my clothes on. - E. Obeng-Amoako Edmonds
Timmy, who made a daring escape, also made a mistake of paying the taxi driver with a check made out of toilet paper. - Janet Frame
Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money. - Joey Bishop
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel. - Mark Twain
Though one should be prepared to vomit rather frequently and disport with pink elephants and assorted grotesqueries while trying often unsuccessfully to make one's way to the toilet.
When you see the handwriting on the wall, your in the toilet. - Redd Foxx