After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.' - Ronnie Shakes
If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat. - Lewis Black
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn
If you are not a psychiatrist, stay away from idiots. They are too stupid to pay a layman for his company. - Stanislaw J. Lec
My psychiatrist said I had charisma so at least I'm certified - Stanley Victor Paskavich
When your head is about to explode, you shouldn't dare call in a psychiatrist because you're about bringing new ideas to world that will later label you a freak. - Michael Bassey Johnson
One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark
After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, "Maybe life isn't for everyone."
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. - Rodney Dangerfield
I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker
I may be 65 tomorrow, but i have no plans to 'let go.My psychiatrist asked me the same thing. He said he wanted to give me a pill so I wouldn’t obsess so much over momentary things. I told him I don’t want a pill. I want an answer. - Yuvika Mathur
Ten minutes of meditation a day, keeps the psychiatrist away. - Abhijit Naskar
I, myself, spent 9 years in an insane asylum and never had any suicidal tendencies, but I know that every conversation I had with a psychiatrist during the morning visit made me long to hang myself because I was aware that I could not slit his throat. - Antonin Artaud
A psychiatrist once told me early in treatment, Stop trying to make me like you, and what a sobering and welcome smack in the face that statement was. Yet somehow, every day of my life is still a campaign for popularity, or better yet, a crowded funeral. - John Waters
No man is a hero to his wife's psychiatrist. - Eric Berne
"Well, now, hold onta yer horses, there, Frazier. I mean, as a psychiatrist, isn't it your job to, uh, `seek and uphold the truth'?""Oh, get real, Cliff."
I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. - Rodney Dangerfield
Music is like a psychiatrist. You can tell your guitar things that you can't tell people. And it will answer you with things people can't tell you. - Paul McCartney
Think of God and not religion, of ecstasy and not mysticism. The difference between the theoretician of faith and the believer is as great as between the psychiatrist and the psychotic. - Emil Cioran