Losing your virginity is a lot like when you find out that Santa doesn’t exist… First you’re slightly disappointed, and then you’re happy because you’re in on the secret - Ben Mitchell
In March of that year, I saw a man named Paul Barkley shot to death. It happened late at night in the parking lot of a café in Santa Rosa called Galileo’s. - Frederick Weisel
All right, so you believe in Santa Claus, and I'll believe in the 'Great Pumpkin.' The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe just so you're sincere! (Linus) - Charles M. Schulz
Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates. - Jon Stewart
My question was:How did I go from merely seeing the dirty French Santa in a bar to being in his hotel room the next morning? And this presented me with an actual equation. How did one plus one equal old French Santa? - Augusten Burroughs
A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa. - Ricky Gervais
I stopped believing in Santa Claus at age six when my mother took me to see him in a store and he asked for my autograph.
Santa Claus had the right idea. Visit everyone once a year.
Contemporary American children, if they are old enough to grasp the concept of Santa Claus by Thanksgiving, are able to see through it by December 15th. - Roy Blount Jr.
A cynic is just a man who found out when he was about ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still upset.
Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? - Arlo Guthrie
Santa Claus has the right idea; visit people once a year. - Victor Borge
Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Matt Groening
Grandmother's knee is a wonderful place to learn about the Bible, ghosts, and even Santa Claus, but a mighty poor place to learn about history. - L.B. Taylor Jr.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. - Dick Gregory
A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus. - Herbert Hoover
The drive to Santa Fe on I-25 is midly zen. There are public road signs that say "Gusty Winds May Exist". This seems more like lazy philosophy than travel advice. - Chuck Klosterman
You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout, I'm telling you why,Cause Santa Clause might put a cap in your ass. - Craig Ferguson
Reading is one of the best ways to bond with your child. Bond this Christmas with It’s Not About You, Mr. Santa Claus - Soraya Diase Coffelt
He continues to smile expectantly. I take a step back. I don't want to catch whatever he has. He is a disturbing out-of-uniform Santa. - Augusten Burroughs
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple Black
Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Clause. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don’t, who will? - Jon Bon Jovi