Quotation Explorer - 'Douglas Adams'

Today must be a Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays. - Douglas Adams
All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it's pretty damn complicated in the first place. - Douglas Adams
Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast. - Douglas Adams
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. - Douglas Adams
The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. - Douglas Adams
Conceited little mega-puppy. - Douglas Adams
What's up?" [asked Ford.]"I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there. - Douglas Adams
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. - Douglas Adams
Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it. - Douglas Adams
Anything that happens, happens. Anthing that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again. It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though. - Douglas Adams
See first, think later, then test. But always see first. Otherwise you will only see what you were expecting. Most scientists forget that. - Douglas Adams
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. - Douglas Adams
Cyberspace is - or can be - a good, friendly and egalitarian place to meet. - Douglas Adams
Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all. - Douglas Adams
The dew has fallen with a particularly sickening thud this morning. - Douglas Adams
How can I tell that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensation and my state of mind? - Douglas Adams
One moment I was sitting in your ship feeling very depressed, and the next moment I was standing here feeling utterly miserable. An Improbability Field I expect. - Douglas Adams
In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea. - Douglas Adams
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair. - Douglas Adams
He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife. - Douglas Adams
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be. - Douglas Adams
Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. - Douglas Adams
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. - Douglas Adams
He was following the Earth through its days, drifting with the rhythms of its myriad pulses, seeping through the webs of its life, swelling with its tides, turning with its weight. - Douglas Adams
The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79. - Douglas Adams
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space. - Douglas Adams
The big corporations are suddenly taking notice of the web, and their reactions have been slow. Even the computer industry failed to see the importance of the Internet, but that's not saying much. Let's face it, the computer industry failed to see that the century would end. - Douglas Adams
First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure. - Douglas Adams
You live and learn. At any rate, you live. - Douglas Adams
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. - Douglas Adams
Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner. - Douglas Adams
He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. - Douglas Adams
I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams
A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. - Douglas Adams
Can't stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect me to tell them what to do about it. I'll tell them what to do. Don't get bitten in the first place. (quoting Dr. Struan Sutherland) - Douglas Adams
Certamente era um homem que possuía muitas qualidades, mesmo que fossem quase todas ruins. - Douglas Adams
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer - Douglas Adams
Why should I want to make anything up? Life's bad enough as it is without wanting to invent any more of it. - Douglas Adams
The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied. - Douglas Adams
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat. - Douglas Adams
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. - Douglas Adams
I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting. But it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously. - Douglas Adams
Lovers of print are simply confusing the plate for the food. - Douglas Adams
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. - Douglas Adams
She is the least benightedly unintelligent organic lifeform it has ever been my distinct lack of pleasure not to have been able to avoid meeting. - Douglas Adams
My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefor excused from saving Universes. - Douglas Adams
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it. - Douglas Adams
Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart. - Douglas Adams
Anything invented before your fifteenth birthday is the order of nature. That's how it should be. Anything invented between your 15th and 35th birthday is new and exciting, and you might get a career there. Anything invented after that day, however, is against nature and should be prohibited. - Douglas Adams
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. - Douglas Adams
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. - Douglas Adams
This is an important announcement. This is flight 121 to Los Angeles. If your travel plans today do not include Los Angeles, now would be a perfect time to disembark. - Douglas Adams
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams
Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of. - Douglas Adams
Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose. - Douglas Adams
Now logic is a wonderful thing but it has, as the process of evolution discovered, certain drawbacks. Anything that thinks logically can be fooled by something else which thinks at least as logically as it does. - Douglas Adams
Beethoven tells you what it's like to be Beethoven and Mozart tells you what it's like to be human. Bach tells you what it's like to be the universe. - Douglas Adams
The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down his throat. - Douglas Adams
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. - Douglas Adams
The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he, by peddling second-rate technology, who led them into it in the first place. - Douglas Adams
We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem. - Douglas Adams
Slartibartfast's study was a total mess, like the results of an explosion in a public library. - Douglas Adams
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. - Douglas Adams
Life? Don't talk to me about life! - Douglas Adams
There are two things in particular that it [the computer industry] failed to foresee: one was the coming of the Internet(...); the other was the fact that the century would end. - Douglas Adams
He hadn't realized that life speaks with a voice to you, a voice that brings you answers for the questions you continually ask of it, had never consciously detected it or recognized its tones until it now said something it had never said to him before, which was "yes". - Douglas Adams
I’m afraid you cannot leave,' said Zarniwoop, 'you are entwined in the Improbability Field. You cannot escape.' He smiled the smile that Zaphod had wanted to hit and this time Zaphod hit it. - Douglas Adams
Don't Panic - Douglas Adams
Well, no, not married as such, but yes, there is a specific girl that I'm not married to. - Douglas Adams
...just because you see something, it doesn’t mean to say it’s there. And if you don’t see something, it doesn’t mean to say it’s not there. It’s only what your senses bring to your attention. - Douglas Adams
In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. - Douglas Adams
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. - Douglas Adams
It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear. - Douglas Adams
Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all. - Douglas Adams
There is an art, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair. - Douglas Adams
So, the world is fine. We don’t have to save the world—the world is big enough to look after itself. What we have to be concerned about, is whether or not the world we live in, will be capable of sustaining us in it. That’s what we need to think about. - Douglas Adams
There is a particular disdain with which Siamese cats regard you. Anyone who has walked in on the Queen cleaning her teeth will be familiar with the feeling. - Douglas Adams
We notice things that don't work. We don't notice things that do. We notice computers, we don't notice pennies. We notice e-book readers, we don't notice books. - Douglas Adams
Having been an English literary graduate, I've been trying to avoid the idea of doing art ever since. I think the idea of art kills creativity. I think media are at their most interesting before anybody's thought of calling them art, when people still think they're just a load of junk. - Douglas Adams
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